


Sastiel Love Week August 2018

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-03 15:07:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15821391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: Day 1: FirstsDay 2: AUDay 3: Outsider POVDay 4: AngstDay 5: Just Couple ThingsDay 6: Episode RelatedDay 7: Let Them Be Happy





	1. Day 1: Firsts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flightoftheseraph](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flightoftheseraph/gifts).



The first time Sam met Castiel is a time Sam thought was best forgotten. They’d hardly gotten off on the right foot.

The first kiss was equally best forgotten. Castiel was drunk, Sam had found the lore on the whore of Babylon, and Castiel kissed him. Sam went with it for a bit, but put a stop to it before it could get too far. After all, Castiel was drunk. Somehow. He never brought it up again, so Sam let it go.

Even the first time they had sex was something Sam considered a bad memory. Not that he remembered much about it. He’d taken a day off from hunting from hunting for his demonic brother to work out his frustration with every lead becoming a dead end, working things out the Winchester way. Castiel joined him, and in his weakened state, overestimated his tolerance. There was no denying they’d had sex, but Castiel was gone in the morning, leaving a note about a tip he and Hannah were off to investigate. No mention of the night before other than Castiel having left hangover medicine and a large glass of water beside the note.

Now Dean was gone again, in the wind, possessed by an alternate universe’s Michael. Just like before, every lead evaporated in smoke. Sam hit the bottle.

Castiel came to him. “Sam, we will find him. We will get Michael out and back to his own universe. We will.”

“I know. I’m just… I’m so frustrated I can’t think straight. Taking a day off to wallow and drink worked last time, so I’m trying it again.”

“I see.” Castiel took a beer from the refrigerator. “In that case, let me stay and help?”

“Cas, you don’t… you don’t have to… I just need some time where I’m not thinking.”

“Which I can help with. I won’t insist on it, if you hate the idea, but I want you to know I’m here if you think it would help you.”

“It’ll help me to not think, but… it kinda messed with my head, you know? Or my heart, or something. Ever since then I’ve tried not to think of it, since you didn’t want to talk about it…”

“I wanted to, but after you’d pushed me away before, I didn’t know how to bring it up without getting pushed away again, and I couldn’t take that.”

“I didn’t… you were drunk, Cas! That’s why I pushed you away, not because I didn’t want to continue! Besides, we’ve gotten a lot closer since then, things change!”

“Oh.” Castiel squinted at Sam. “Does that mean you do want me?”

“YES!” Sam set his beer aside. “If you want me too, then your way’s a lot better. It’s not going to leave me hung over and struggling to turn my brain back on in the morning.”


	2. Day 2: AU

It wasn’t the first time papers had gone missing, and Sam was fed up with it. He needed to double-check the requirements for his Philosophy and Literature class paper, and he was absolutely certain it had been in his red binder where he kept all current assignments. Since it was due this week, it was right on top. Or should be. Just in case, he looked through his binders of notes – you never knew. Maybe, this time, he’d just been disorganized. He hadn’t been. It wasn’t anywhere. Not tucked into textbooks, either.

He stormed out of the dorm room heading for the common area. Some of the other students fled. He’d heard the whispers about him looking like a serial killer, which was closer to the truth than he’d ever admit, really. Useful when he needed to have a confrontation with the roommate who was never awake in their room.

Castiel held his ground. If he even noticed Sam approaching, he didn’t bother to react to it, only looking up at all when Sam snatched the notebook out of his hands. Castiel blinked up at him. “I’m not finished with that.”

“Too bad, because this,” Sam waved the paper in Castiel’s face, “is mine and I need it so that I can do my work. You know, the reason we’re actually here? Classwork? Not doodling.”

Castiel squinted at him. “I apologize. It’s due in three days; don’t you already have it finished? You’re usually so conscientious about being ahead of due dates just in case.”

“I’m… almost finished,” Sam admitted. He’d never thought Castiel paid any attention to him. How could he, when he was never in their room, and they didn’t have any classes together? “I just needed to check a few things.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. When you’re finished, may I have it back? It may not be anything I’m turning in for class, but I assure you, it is class work. A rough draft for a project for my drawing class, since I am, after all, an art major.”

Sam looked down at the paper in his hand, and his jaw dropped as he looked at the drawing on the back. It was intricate, a beautiful mess of swirling lines that came together to create the image of a pair of cats curled around each other. “Wow. I… wow. You’re good.”

“I practice a lot. Most of my papers end up covered in doodles, which means that when I need a full page to work with, I don’t have it. I know, I have my sketchbooks, but for working out concepts I prefer just a boring piece of paper.”

“Sure. Once I get my paper checked over, I’ll give this right back. When you’re done with it, can I have it? To keep?”

Castiel scoffed. “It’s not that good. But sure.”


	3. Day 3: Outsider POV (Claire and Jody)

Claire’s bitterness against Castiel faded quickly as she got to know him – the real him, not who he was fresh out of brainwashing like he’d been when he possessed her briefly. Gone was the cold-hearted bastard, the being who hadn’t thought twice about taking a man away from the family who needed him. His reaching out to her may have started because of guilt, but over time, Claire realized that Castiel genuinely cared for her. Compared to some of the other guys who’d been in her life, that one thing went a long way toward her acceptance of him as a mentor of sorts.

It helped that it went both ways – there was so much about human life that, even after a brief stint human, Castiel didn’t really get. Teaching the angel to text and use emojis was something Claire considered one of her greatest accomplishments in life. Getting him used to using his phone as an external brain like pretty much any human these days? Claire couldn’t be prouder.

Now if she could just get him to do something about his big fat gay love for Sam. He wouldn’t even admit to it, but it was obvious. She could always tell when he’d seen Sam recently – he was happier, less prone to snapping, and he carried a sort of peace in his… grace, she supposed… that faded the longer he went without seeing Sam.

At first, she’d thought it was Dean. The Righteous Man, the one he’d been punished for helping, the one who he’d eventually gone against heaven for, multiple times. An offhand comment from Jody about how much happier Sam looked after a visit from Castiel had her rethinking, and eventually, changing her mind. Claire’s first impression of Sam came from watching him tear into a demon to drink its blood, which didn’t exactly get them off on the right foot – but then again, when he came back into her life, he wasn’t the one with some demonic mark that made him a murder hobo. If Castiel thought Sam was a good guy and deserved to be loved, Claire would take his word for it.

Claire and Jody had been kicking around ideas for a while. Jody didn’t know about Castiel, but she was convinced that Sam was in love, and Claire was the reverse. They came up with all kinds of plans that had Alex rolling her eyes at them, had regular rom-com nights for research, but the time never felt right to put one of their plans into action.

Eventually, Claire broke. They’d teamed up on a big hunt, and as they celebrated taking down the last of the pack, Castiel bandaged Sam’s wounded arm while Dean hung around making snarky comments about Sam not needing stupid heroics to make himself a big obvious target. That, Claire could deal with – Dean was hilarious when he was pissed. It was Castiel and Sam making googoo eyes that had her blurting out, “Oh my god, would you two just kiss and get it over with?”

Dean turned to glare at her. “You’d better not be talking about Sam, and I got some good reasons for not kissing Cas.”

“I did mean Sam. Not you, though. One of those good reasons because your little brother’s in love with him?”

“Yes. Sammy, see? EVEN CLAIRE CAN TELL!”


	4. Day 4: Angst

Sam drove.

What else could he do? Dean was dead. Cas was dead. Meg was dead. Crowley had taken Kevin. Even the Impala was a zombie, imperfectly put back together after its death in the service of taking out Dick Roman.

If Cas hadn’t taken the memories of Lucifer, driving him crazy in the process, maybe Cas would still be alive. Sam would be dead, but really, at this point, what did he have to live for? He’d tried to find Kevin, but his brain just refused to process any kind of information. The things that had driven him before, hunting leads, finding the 2 and the 2 that were so far apart from each other it took something really special to make them into a 4, those weren’t coming. Not without Dean to snark at him for being a nerd, not knowing Dean would never have that chance again. Trying to save Dean was one thing. He liked Kevin, he felt responsible for Kevin, but Kevin wasn’t Dean, and without Dean, Sam wasn’t Sam Fucking Winchester. He was just a broken hunter who couldn’t help anyone.

If it were Cas here, instead of Sam, Kevin would probably be safe and back home with his mom and his girlfriend right now, planning his move off to school in the near future. Dean would still be dead, but Dean was in Heaven. Cas could visit him there any time he wanted. And Sam… if God’s personal salvation still held, even though the Apocalypse had been averted, he’d be in Heaven too and Cas could see him if he wanted to. If it didn’t hold, Sam would be in Hell, and, well, Cas had come for him down there once already. If he cared enough, he could do it again. He probably would, because Dean was probably getting a little antsy in Heaven dealing with memories of Sam instead of having the real thing with him.

Sam couldn’t pop up to Heaven to see Dean, and after everything, he wasn’t about to yank Dean away from his reward. It wouldn’t be perfect until Sam could get up to him, but it was better than being stuck out here. He had no idea what happened to angels when they died. They didn’t go to Heaven. Cas didn’t remember anything; whether that was because of true oblivion or just being Windexed like Sam and Dean usually were after dying and coming back, hard to say.

Sam missed Dean, of course. Cas, though… in a lot of ways, that one felt worse. Cas was dead because he’d had to save Sam from insanity and death. More importantly, Cas had died before Sam had the opportunity to sit down with him and tell the angel everything he’d realized, the moment the angel showed up and admitted to hearing Sam’s prayer to ask for help. First Cas was dead, then he was too crazy to hear it. Telling Castiel he loved him in that state was just…

Sam’s thoughts cut off at the thud on the Impala. He hopped out and finally, something broke him out of his head. This dog, he could save.


	5. Day 5: Just Couple Things

Sam loved fighting with Castiel. It sounded bizarre as hell, but it was honestly one of the best things about their relationship. It helped that fighting with Castiel wasn’t like fighting with anyone else he’d ever known.

When Castiel wanted to start a fight, he would bring Sam a coffee. It would be peppermint-flavored, a signal to Sam that Castiel was upset about something. Sam always put aside whatever he was working on unless it was a time-sensitive matter of life and death – that had only happened once, and all Sam had to do to convince Castiel to wait was ask if this could wait until Dean was safe.

Once he had Sam’s full attention, Castiel would tell Sam what was bothering him and why. If he had a solution to the problem in mind, he would suggest it, making sure that it was clear that it was a suggestion, not an order. Then he would ask Sam what he thought.

At first, Sam would apologize and either accept Castiel’s solution or propose his own, thinking that was what Castiel wanted. Sometimes he still did that, but only when Castiel’s grievance was simply a matter of Sam being thoughtless or insensitive. Forgetting Claire’s birthday. Not buying Castiel’s preferred flavors of coffee when he bought his own.

When it was something more complicated, Castiel wanted to hear Sam’s side. He even encouraged Sam to say something along the lines of “I need some time to think about this, can we set this aside for an hour or until I figure out how to explain myself?”

When Sam was ready to present his side, Castiel would sit back and listen intently. Then, with both sides out in the open, the two of them would work together to find a middle ground, or agree to disagree.

When Sam needed to start a fight, he’d bring Cas a peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich.

It wasn’t perfect. It took a long time to learn to fight this way instead of letting anger start or determine the fight. But it was good for both of them, and their relationship was so much stronger for it.


	6. Day 6: Episode Related (Red Meat Coda)

It took a while for things to catch up to Sam. He’d nearly died, again. Dean had nearly killed himself to bring him back, again. It worked out, this time, because Sam was just too fucking stubborn to die without warning Dean about the werewolf, and Dean picked a hospital for his suicide and, therefore, had people around to resuscitate him.

He woke up at three a.m. screaming, from a nightmare where Dean still had the Mark and took the opportunity of needing to dig the bullet out of Sam to freshen up the skills Alastair had taught him. Seeing how far he could push Sam without letting Sam die. How far he could push himself and still pull himself back from crossing that line.

Castiel came running in to him. “Sam. What’s wrong?”

“Just a nightmare. Kind of combining a lot of the bad crap Dean and I have been through. It’s gonna be this way for a while, I think.”

Sam hadn’t finished speaking before Castiel had his coat off and folded neatly on the desk, joined quickly by Castiel’s tie and shoes. Then Castiel stretched out on the bed beside him, one arm held out to Sam in invitation. Sam curled up against the angel, head on his chest, listening to the heartbeat while Castiel stroked his hair.

Castiel didn’t need his heart to beat, of course. Most angels simulated breathing, even though it wasn’t necessary, to avoid drawing attention to the strange person walking around without breathing. A heartbeat was unlikely to draw attention, though, since you had to be in very close contact to detect the lack of one. Castiel had started to simulate a heartbeat when comforting Sam after nightmares, after one where Sam woke up from a dream of watching Castiel die only to have a panic attack because he couldn’t hear Cas’s heartbeat. Even when the nightmare wasn’t about Castiel’s death, Sam found the steady thump-thump rhythm soothing, so Castiel just kept it going full-time.


	7. Day 7: Let Them Be Happy

Being a dad sunk in so slowly and gradually that Sam barely noticed it was happening, which sometimes led to Sam believing he was a stepfather more than a father. Castiel was the one Kelly had chosen to be Jack’s father; Cas had been dead and Sam alive when Jack was born; Jack imprinted on Sam, for lack of a better term. When Castiel came back, it was only natural for Sam to continue taking a hand in Jack’s upbringing, since he and Castiel were a couple and raising a child together was a couple thing.

It was irrational, but right now, Sam felt very much like a stepfather. Jack had come to Castiel asking for help figuring something out, and Sam hadn’t meant to, but he overheard Jack say that it was something he didn’t think Sam would understand. Sam had always done his best before, scouring Nephilim lore for answers for Jack; why would this be different?

Castiel came back, without Jack, wearing a fond smile. “He’s growing up.”

“What did he want?” Sam tried to keep the jealousy out of his voice, but he couldn’t quite manage it.

“There were a few things, but all falling in the general category of ‘help I’m going through angel puberty and I don’t understand what my grace is doing to me.’” Castiel cuddled up against Sam. “That’s why it had to be me. If I weren’t here, he would have gone to you knowing you’d do your best to give him answers, but I’m an angel and I’ve been around Nephilim before. Some of it is rather… embarrassing… and only having to explain it to me was easier than explaining to both.”

“Oh.” Sam ducked his head, trying not to blush too hard. “How bad is it, compared to human puberty? He got to skip the worst of that.”

“Only some of the worst. He won’t deal with growth spurts or his voice changing, but he is having to deal with his penis developing a mind of its own. There’s a girl.”

“Oh boy. Do you know anything about this girl?”

“Only what Jack’s told me – she was raised in a very fundamentalist cult-like family, where she was shamed and mistreated, causing her to lash out and hurt people accidentally. Jack can sympathize, and he’s told her what he is and much like you she doesn’t see it as something to be in fear or awe of, simply him being a hybrid of two species. One thing that stands out to me – she’s been killed.”

“What? Then…”

“She got better. Jack said she told him her Reaper refused to take her, that the choice had been made for her to live. Lots of talk about how much hinged on that decision, but the Reaper didn’t clarify what any of it was.”

“Huh. When do we get to meet her?”

“I told Jack to ask her to come to dinner tonight. Dean already knows and has asked for your help in preparing a proper dinner.”

“Did Jack happen to mention a name?”

“Magda Peterson.”

“Seriously? Magda? Wow. She… wait, she got killed? Like, for real, not just her mom faking her death?”

“Hmm?”

“Remember that girl I told you about, when you were off with Crowley hunting down leads on Lucifer? The one with the powers who thought she was the devil? That’s her.”


End file.
